No one expects the comfy chair way up!

[hawkati]

“Fuck!” … none of that cheeky “I say fack” bollocks – I really mean it. Within less than fifteen miles from the start I’ve completely fucked up. Setting a fine pace in vile rain I’ve gradually overhauled almost everyone then we get to a roundabout. The rider from henceforth known as Standing Man on the cbr1000f is the only one in front of me and as we leave the roundabout I blindly follow him onto a normal road. Yup, that’s what the A30 does, shifting from bypass to conventional road several times. Shortly after he slows – I’m not at all surprised since the rain is biblical and the road is treacherous. I pass nonetheless, age old experience telling me to retain heat in the tyres.

Not long after, age old experience tells me I’ve fucked up, taking the A3075 instead of the A30. Daftly I press on, thinking that I’ll just take the next right and rejoin the A30. The next right is a single track road with hairpin bends, rocks growing in the middle and is downright danbgerous. I’m down to 10mph and any designs on getting to john o groat’s first have instantly evaporated. “Fuck!” Right now anything that doesn’t involve ending in a ditch upside down with the bike on top of me I’ll take as a result.

I get to the A30. The junction says No turning right. I turn right, and nail it. It take twenty miles to overhaul the first of the other bikes, the Burgmann scooter. I wave, blitz past and carry on. By this stage already I’m entering into an internal philosophical debate about honda’s design strategy – this last almost all of the journey. Honda at every level aim to provide the perfect vehicle and if it doesn’t suit you then it’s you at fault. I’m on a honda vfr750, regarded by many as the ideal sports tourer and perfet for traverlling long distances. How could I dislike it? Understeer. A lethal combination of not enough weight on the front end and a bridgestone 016f tyre makes it feel vague and remote so I just cannot tell what is going on. Gently, almost imperceptibly I lose the front a dozen times before Exeter as I try to learn what this bike needs from me to behave. Seriously, the front slightly washing out at 90+ on a bypass is enough to make you back off and question your own stupidity.

Anyway, that’s the state of my debate as I crack on. A couple more riders past and then three more, strangely parked up just past a speed camera. Nevermind – onwards to Exeter. Fuel up, mini chat with other riders, visor change and crack on.

 

It all started well – a gentle bimble from home through north cornwall and the most entertaining twisty roads to tintagel. The luxury of a b&b rather than camping and a wander on the beach then a very short hop to land’s end.

 

 

(No, it wasn't like this - a cheeky pic of a picture on the wall outside a pub. In actuality it was misty and shite when I arrived but cleared a bit in the morning)

 

 

 

 

We all gather, chat and compare notes encouraging and disparaging about our bikes, then zoop to Hayle for the overnight stop. Food and drinks (eventually) and early to bed before the 4am kick off.

 

 

 

 

 

Alll that is behind me now and I’m cracking on up the A30 then A303 towards the turn north to Cirencester, the first stop. One certain thing is that the calibre of riders has grown – many have done this before and that shows with the relentless overtaking of everything everywhere. Gone are the days on my simply stretching a gap and breaking away from other riders – these people are just as serious about getting a move on. Every time I gain some distance they reel me in again – mainly Martin and Glen on a xj600 and gpz500 respectively. They’re riding the wheels off their machines.

 

Cirencester. Delighted to hit pitstop 1 and catch a few other riders – Ifor, Dan & more. @blow_away  , @Skellern are helping out - @Versatile too? It’s a rushed blur of fettling, food, drink & chats. Even the notorious BarryJ is there. Genuinely good to see him, I raise the thorny subject of the loss of threads on PBEvo since it’s dishonest to be matey without speaking my mind. We chat, we shake hands, it’s cool.

 

 

Onwards to Gloucesterphobia and the A40 to Ross on Wye. Fucking excellent road, twisty as hell and my happy hunting ground and gateway to walesland. Chap on RF900 is with me as we wait at traffic lights….and wait….and …wait….They cycle through other traffic but simply won’t change. So we jump the lights and get on with it. I lead and use up a few hand signals on the first couplke of genuinely narsty bends, then I’m off with a vengeance.  I’m beginning to enjoy this as the roads dry out. Fuck, and indeed, yeah!

Edited July 7, 2021 by hawkati

[firebeast]

Obviously biblical rain mate, as you must have gone a decent way up the 3075 mate towards Newquay,, as you went past the Perranporth turn on the left and the opposing a30 turn on the first roundabout junction, which isn't very far from getting on the 3075 and the first road option on the right.. It's a pity you didn't ride that road down from tintagel to have noticed how close they are,, you know next time though 👍

[IforB]

I remember those lights, I think I did exactly the same! That route from P1 to P2 was magic. Lots and lots of fun.

[hawkati]

3 hours ago, firebeast said:

Obviously biblical rain mate, as you must have gone a decent way up the 3075 mate towards Newquay,, as you went past the Perranporth turn on the left and the opposing a30 turn on the first roundabout junction, which isn't very far from getting on the 3075 and the first road option on the right.. It's a pity you didn't ride that road down from tintagel to have noticed how close they are,, you know next time though 👍

I think it was penhallow the vertonglimps or summat as I traversed back towards the a30. Bloody hard to tell without satnav and the rain coming down so hard it was pinging my phone as I looked at Google maps!😂😂😂

[Thunderbolt]

23 minutes ago, IforB said:

I remember those lights, I think I did exactly the same! That route from P1 to P2 was magic. Lots and lots of fun.

Those lights were at a Y fork in the road with a garage in the next of the Y?

 I waited ages, coz I am a good boy.

[IforB]

35 minutes ago, hawkati said:

I think it was penhallow the vertonglimps or summat as I traversed back towards the a30. Bloody hard to tell without satnav and the rain coming down so hard it was pinging my phone as I looked at Google maps!😂😂😂

Oh man, that was horrendous, my phone kept acting as if I had touched the screen as it seemed the rain was acting like a human digit. Even though the Sat Nav screen was pinned and locked, it ended up sharing the route with a load of contacts and I think tried dialling someone at one point! I was properly flapping, as without the route on my phone, I would have to go back to the old fashioned way of just getting lost!

[IforB]

21 minutes ago, Thunderbolt said:

Those lights were at a Y fork in the road with a garage in the next of the Y?

 I waited ages, coz I am a good boy.

There was another one where I got stuck for ages too just on a straight bit of road, but I may only have been caught for 30 seconds as my sense of time and desire to keep moving was over-riding everything at that point! 

[firebeast]

19 hours ago, hawkati said:

I think it was penhallow the vertonglimps or summat as I traversed back towards the a30. Bloody hard to tell without satnav and the rain coming down so hard it was pinging my phone as I looked at Google maps!😂😂😂

It's actually ventongimps, gimps being correct being so far down south.., as well as me not getting my memory map working,🙄, can see why you lost a bit of time as I looked you were not too far from getting to Perranporth turn which would have saved you a lot of hassle.👍. 

[SWTH]

Ventongimps always made me snigger whenever I drove past. Yes, I'm a child. 

 Bit late now but you'd have been better off staying on the A3075 until Goonhavern and then taking the direct road to the A30. Oh well.

[hawkati]

Yesh - that little fuckup cost me around 20+ minutes lost time. Nevermind,  onwards and upwards with the next installment once I've recovered from nightshift zombiedom...

[firebeast]

4 hours ago, SWTH said:

Yes, I'm a child. 

Ain't we all really? 😁

The Goonies turn is what I was on about as well, James only just went past the pricey cider place  that makes rattler,, another place for tourist gimps to get fleeced, 🙄

[SWTH]

Even more so these days. Better deals in Newquay Morrison’s for Rattler too.

I do miss living in Cornwall but I don’t miss paying through the nose for the luxury of being perennially skint in a tourist hotspot.

Edited July 8, 2021 by SWTH

[hawkati]

part deux

It’s just south of Whitchurch that I joyously attack a dancing crocodile, but that’s not important right now.

The delicious nadgery of the A40 from Gloucester to Ross on Wye has been despatched and now I shift north onto the A49 towards Hereford. A far more civilised sweeping road, it’s already clogging up with vans, tractors, coaches and roadworks – really, such impertinence, getting in our way! A short hop to Hereford and I catch Martin and Glyn – good old boys. We carve through Hereford which is too crowded and slow for our own good and then carry on, overtaking more or less everything all of the time. I try to drop them but they’re very very persistent and every overtake I do is matched in turn as we slice and dice the morning traffic. This pattern is set to continue for the rest of the event. My vfr certainly has the edge on power, easily, but it’s a big heavy thing and I’ve still no confidence in the front tyre so I’m being gentle with it.

The A49 is very familiar territory for me – I’ve ridden it ountless times before making random turns to the left and darkest walesland. It’s very forgiving territory for the vfr – lots of top gear roll ons for overtaking with plenty of clear views.

Relativity is everything. The first time I rode a vfr750 (bought by my late friend Owen, the reason for riding ldu this year) my regular ride was a gpz550. As such the viffer seemed awesome – big, heavy, huge power and torque. The second time was after I’d done about 100,000 miles of exup ownership and the viffer felt small and weak. It’s an extraordinarily good all rounder and a very very capable bike, but feels so damn vague compared to my 996 that if it wasn’t for the debilitating pain that I know the 996 would bring I’d choose that for the ride.

Anyway, Onwards and northwards – roads dry, warming up, carving through traffic and then by the side of the road there’s a dancing croc! We’re at the Raven Arms and the second pitstop. Swift fuel up, a sprint to go hug the croc since he’s doing a lonely essential job and then check in. I say howdy to luverly pitstop crew people ( I’m dreadful with names – accost me on here and tell me who you were?)

Bites, red bull, quick chain check ( it’ll do mate) and offski again – just north a bit more then right towards Nantwich & Congleton – sort of interesting ride that could do better on the visual stakes. I’m on my own again for now – made the break from other contestants and very happy indeed tot hit the A54 to Buxton, joining the cat & fiddle pass for the latter bit of that stretch. Very familiar territory, the viffer gets airbourne on a couple of occasions. It also almost ends toppling down a valley as I stop for a photo shoot – I park up and as I get off it’s clear it’s too upright and lifts off it’s stand ready to plunge into the abyss. I steady it, take the shot and bugger off sharp before anyone catches me.

Once again with the well known routes – from Buxton up past Glossop  and over Holme Pass – I stop briefly and Martin and Glyn zoop past. Bit cloudy for a fine view but good to stop even for a few seconds – my head is getting rattled around by the wind blast and I’m rapidly losing my neck muscles.

 

Down into Holmfirth, Huddersfield and then Halifax, at which point my road knowledge goes straight on as we turn left. Martin & Glyn are with me all the way since I caught them at Hiolmfirth and we ride together out to Burnley and Beyond. I don’t know these roads at all and am happy to play tailgun Charlie to these two. It becomes apparent that all the usual behaviour is out of the window – double white lines? Overtake anyway. Roadworks with red lights? Fukkit. We ecrack on – this really matters now – possibly the most high maintenance section with such a plethora of junctions traffic lights and traffic that it’s essential to crack on so as not to lose too much time – this event, if it drags on, can become downright dangerous.

 

….annnd we’re at Pitstop Three! What a luverly welcome from @heds954   , Hayley, @srad34 etc – great people one and all. Food galore ( cheesy twists!) mars bars and a definitely necessary chain adjustment. No c spanner on hand it’s down to a gentle tapping with, yes, a hammer dammit.

This is the first proper rest – I chat a bit with @ifor before he zoops off, Heds a bit more and make plotting noises to haunt Hayley on the return journey. She gets earplugs thrown at her drone. heds indicates how many pictures he’s taken of me.

Out again, stop briefly to check Martin & Glyn are alright since they’ve stopped, crack on to Mortoway junction since we’ve been told to hop on for a couple of junctions to avoid an accident snarl up. I pull over and let them catch me again so we can travel mob handed into the lakes…

 

 

 

Edited July 10, 2021 by hawkati
Pikkr

[blow_away]

Epic stuff James, looking forward to the rest of the tale.

[hawkati]

19 minutes ago, blow_away said:

Epic stuff James, looking forward to the rest of the tale.

it'll happen - life's got in the way a bit but i'll rattle up a few more words soon...cheers!

[Basil]

On 7/10/2021 at 5:49 PM, hawkati said:

 

 

Nobody expects Alexei Sale to be into motorbikes do they?

Edited July 18, 2021 by Basil
missing Ewok!

[Sidkinky]

Allo John, got a new Pegaso?

[hawkati]

Now where the hell was i? Ah yesh – hooked up with Martin & Glyn for a swift motorway zoop up a couple of junctions. We dive back onto the A6 just north of Lancaster I think – motorways bore the shite out of me so I’ve switched off completely at this point and I’m simply part of the convoy. Onwards to Kendal where I eat an imaginary fucktonne of mint cake and lead through the town since I have a vague idea of where we’re going now – I’m good to do this till the ferry but Martin ups the ante (whatever an ante is) when we come across miles of surface dressing – the roadworks have been swept and there’s still loose patches. Advisory 20mph limit is completely ignored but we stick to an entirely practical 80mph for safety’s sake.

The scenery is spectacular on the fringes of the lake district – I love it here but can barely glance as we’re on such a mission. We’d had an encounter previously with Standing Man who strangely overtook us then stood up a lot allegedly to see where he was going. He eventually pulled over and let us past since we were snapping at his ankles and we cracked on, determined not to get distracted by him again.

Penrith – dead easy – I’ve been here loads of times, it being the nearest town to a place I regularly stay and the centre is well known for food drinks & ammunition. It’s that kind of holiday. Anyway, that’s over with very quickly and north again to Carlisle – annoyingly straight & dull road that’s over with asap. A7 to Longtown, over to Gretna (nope, we didn’t tie the knot) and then the grimness of the A75. This goes on & on & on & on & on till it turns into the A76 which is one betterer with several dozen sweeping bends to stave off the tiredness & aches which are gradually creeping in. This is one of the worst bits of the journey – just a little bit dull but I know once we’re north of the ferry the fun sets in big time and it should be a bucket of giggles right to the very end.

We’ve fuelled up a little soon, which will become apparent later on, and so it’s now a fine dash to the ferry – refreshing sea air and fine fine views to our left as we ride towards McInroy’s point and the next pitstop. Grinding through 30mph limits, trying to remain courteous to other road users we nonetheless hurry as muchcc as we can, not the least because we see what we think is our ferry sailing in to port.

…and we’re there! Pitstop 4 and greeted by @jaycee and the rest of the PB scots massive – absolute stars one & all. They ply us with food & drink and we kick our heels for what seems both far too long and no time at all as the ferry docks. It’s damn good to catch up & chat with forum people after what seems like an age of isolation. Good people, very good people.

Onto the ferry and a gentle lurch over the seas  - takes about fifteen minutes but combined with the pitstop it’s the longest we’ve been off the bikes all day. Yeehaa!

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 31, 2021 by hawkati

[blow_away]

"80mph, for safety's sake"

Love it 

[hawkati]

It’s been a while….i’ve been busy, right?

Where the hell were we? AH yes, on a goodam ferry taking a little time out and talking shite with various other contestants/fellow riders. The views are great ( scenery, not the riders) and it’s possible to relax for a little while.  However we get to Dunoon and it’s offski again on the A815. Last time we launched with the ramp barely down but this time a marginally more civilised depature took place. I’d tucked in behind Standing Man (he blames his knees) who cruised out of towm – I do believe there was a copper or two around so circumspect progress was needed.

This road is great. One day I’ll return and ride it slower admiring the views fully but this particular zoop gathered momemtum damn rapidly tracing the turns around Lock Eck and heading out towards Strachur. I get past Standing Man and immediately crack on – a long long habit of breaking followers so they don’t get in your way later on if you get complacent and they’re not far behind. We all stretch out with long gaps between riders – just as well at the pace we’re doing. We join the A83 and then at some obscure point all have to bunch up again since the main road is closed and everyone has to wait….and wait….and wait….till we get escorted down an alternative route – a steep rocky track. I quite enjoyed it but completely forgot to take any pictures while we were waiting.

Anyway, onwards to Loch Lomond where All of The Midges were waiting. I’m midgeproof but my visor isn’t and there was such an onslaught of the little fukkers than it wasn’t long before I could barely see the road at all. I’d slowed right down and everyone bunched up again, probably wondering why the hell I was so slow. Finally I was approaching a roundabout and  stupidly wiped my visor which completely ruined my sight and I pulled over. Everyone else promptly buggered off except Glyn. He’d stopped too, and it turned out he was seriously low on fuel. We were relying on the station at Tyndrum being open – silly us! The only option was to carry on to Fort William and pray. I had more fuel abut chose to stay with Glyn in case he ran out so I could zoop and get some for him and return.

This was a blessing – doing Glen Coe at 40mph might have seemed excruiciatingly slow but the sun was setting and I got a beaut of a picture in this splendid alien landscape. Again, I must return and take my time exploring here. Awesome.

Finally! Onich fuel station – a 24 hour self serve thingit which absolutely did the business and strangely allowed us to catch a few others.

From then on with dark landing heavily it was a full on gnash up the lochs. Roadwork traffic lights were ignored, ditto speed limits and strangely an element of blind faith in my tyres returned. We all had aux HID lights giving loads of vision so bends were piled into with almost no concern at all. The midges had all fled so the 67 miles or so to Onverness were despatched very very quickly indeed – Martin, Glyn & myself egging each other on and piling through the landscape. Inverness appeared too damn slow and crowded and I made one wrong exit adding to the frustration but we landed at the final pitstop to be greeted by a….wedding? No, really = one of the riders had his wedding anniversary that day so his wife wore her dress again to surprise him…and us! Loads of food and acres of redbull & random chats later it was time to crack on again for that final 110 mile push. Fuck yeah!

There’s a couple of passes over Cromarty and Dornoch firths that I really like here, somewhat surreal in the twilight but nonetheless awesome too – I love scotland’s landscapes and to be honest it’s a prime motivation for doing these events even if I’m too knacked to fully appreciate them.

We hug the coast for miles, no tedium or exhaustion at all now as I press on leading and willing the others to hang on – I know these roads so well now that my mind is scrolling the landscape ahead and setting myself up for bends I cannot yet see. It’s a good feeling – almost elation that this is nearly over. Bends are taken at speed, apexes and hedges clipped and there’s a defite air of purtposeful mischief. This carries on and on  - till we get to Wick. 16 miles to go and All of The Midges descend on me again – completely wrecking my rhythm and screwing up my progress as I desperately try to distinguish the road direction through my smeared visor. It’s grim, too grim because slowing has taken the wind out of my sails and I’m trudging those final relentless miles stumbling from one bend to another, riding more from memory than actual vision. Stupid stupid idiocy of braile. Triple gnash & gritted teeth, trying not to inhale midges getting through the vents.

…and suddenly we’re here! I almost fall off with relief but we all park up and there was rejoicing & giggling! Jaysus!

 

Edited September 5, 2021 by hawkati

[IforB]

On 9/5/2021 at 9:36 AM, hawkati said:

It’s been a while….i’ve been busy, right?

Where the hell were we? AH yes, on a goodam ferry taking a little time out and talking shite with various other contestants/fellow riders. The views are great ( scenery, not the riders) and it’s possible to relax for a little while.  However we get to Dunoon and it’s offski again on the A815. Last time we launched with the ramp barely down but this time a marginally more civilised depature took place. I’d tucked in behind Standing Man (he blames his knees) who cruised out of towm – I do believe there was a copper or two around so circumspect progress was needed.

This road is great. One day I’ll return and ride it slower admiring the views fully but this particular zoop gathered momemtum damn rapidly tracing the turns around Lock Eck and heading out towards Strachur. I get past Standing Man and immediately crack on – a long long habit of breaking followers so they don’t get in your way later on if you get complacent and they’re not far behind. We all stretch out with long gaps between riders – just as well at the pace we’re doing. We join the A83 and then at some obscure point all have to bunch up again since the main road is closed and everyone has to wait….and wait….and wait….till we get escorted down an alternative route – a steep rocky track. I quite enjoyed it but completely forgot to take any pictures while we were waiting.

Anyway, onwards to Loch Lomond where All of The Midges were waiting. I’m midgeproof but my visor isn’t and there was such an onslaught of the little fukkers than it wasn’t long before I could barely see the road at all. I’d slowed right down and everyone bunched up again, probably wondering why the hell I was so slow. Finally I was approaching a roundabout and  stupidly wiped my visor which completely ruined my sight and I pulled over. Everyone else promptly buggered off except Glyn. He’d stopped too, and it turned out he was seriously low on fuel. We were relying on the station at Tyndrum being open – silly us! The only option was to carry on to Fort William and pray. I had more fuel abut chose to stay with Glyn in case he ran out so I could zoop and get some for him and return.

This was a blessing – doing Glen Coe at 40mph might have seemed excruiciatingly slow but the sun was setting and I got a beaut of a picture in this splendid alien landscape. Again, I must return and take my time exploring here. Awesome.

Finally! Onich fuel station – a 24 hour self serve thingit which absolutely did the business and strangely allowed us to catch a few others.

From then on with dark landing heavily it was a full on gnash up the lochs. Roadwork traffic lights were ignored, ditto speed limits and strangely an element of blind faith in my tyres returned. We all had aux HID lights giving loads of vision so bends were piled into with almost no concern at all. The midges had all fled so the 67 miles or so to Onverness were despatched very very quickly indeed – Martin, Glyn & myself egging each other on and piling through the landscape. Inverness appeared too damn slow and crowded and I made one wrong exit adding to the frustration but we landed at the final pitstop to be greeted by a….wedding? No, really = one of the riders had his wedding anniversary that day so his wife wore her dress again to surprise him…and us! Loads of food and acres of redbull & random chats later it was time to crack on again for that final 110 mile push. Fuck yeah!

There’s a couple of passes over Cromarty and Dornoch firths that I really like here, somewhat surreal in the twilight but nonetheless awesome too – I love scotland’s landscapes and to be honest it’s a prime motivation for doing these events even if I’m too knacked to fully appreciate them.

We hug the coast for miles, no tedium or exhaustion at all now as I press on leading and willing the others to hang on – I know these roads so well now that my mind is scrolling the landscape ahead and setting myself up for bends I cannot yet see. It’s a good feeling – almost elation that this is nearly over. Bends are taken at speed, apexes and hedges clipped and there’s a defite air of purtposeful mischief. This carries on and on  - till we get to Wick. 16 miles to go and All of The Midges descend on me again – completely wrecking my rhythm and screwing up my progress as I desperately try to distinguish the road direction through my smeared visor. It’s grim, too grim because slowing has taken the wind out of my sails and I’m trudging those final relentless miles stumbling from one bend to another, riding more from memory than actual vision. Stupid stupid idiocy of braile. Triple gnash & gritted teeth, trying not to inhale midges getting through the vents.

…and suddenly we’re here! I almost fall off with relief but we all park up and there was rejoicing & giggling! Jaysus!

 

That's funny, I stopped at that fuel station earlier on and it was completely closed up. No-one about at all. Luckily I had enough to get me to Inverness, as I'd stopped as soon as I got off the Ferry, but I wanted a quick splash and dash as I'd been absolutely hammering it and my fuel consumption was somewhat daft! There was not much left when I got to Inverness...

[hawkati]

1 hour ago, IforB said:

That's funny, I stopped at that fuel station earlier on and it was completely closed up. No-one about at all. Luckily I had enough to get me to Inverness, as I'd stopped as soon as I got off the Ferry, but I wanted a quick splash and dash as I'd been absolutely hammering it and my fuel consumption was somewhat daft! There was not much left when I got to Inverness...

Apparently there were quite a few who got caught out by Tyndrum being closed. We all obviously have to ride fasterer next time.. 🤪

[IforB]

8 minutes ago, hawkati said:

Apparently there were quite a few who got caught out by Tyndrum being closed. We all obviously have to ride fasterer next time.. 🤪

Yeah, that's something I was expecting having lived up there for 10 years, the closing hours of businesses out in the Scottish sticks is definitely not compatible with a 24hr charity run!

[hawkati]

20 minutes ago, IforB said:

Yeah, that's something I was expecting having lived up there for 10 years, the closing hours of businesses out in the Scottish sticks is definitely not compatible with a 24hr charity run!

Neither is a vfr750. They're thirsty bastards if you're pressing on...

[Thunderbolt]

4 hours ago, hawkati said:

Apparently there were quite a few who got caught out by Tyndrum being closed. We all obviously have to ride fasterer next time.. 🤪

We were told by unreliable locals that it would be open, otherwise we would have stopped at Gulf Arrochar.

[cuban pete]

On 9/6/2021 at 4:56 PM, hawkati said:

Neither is a vfr750. They're thirsty bastards if you're pressing on...

The zzr was fucking gargling it... 

[svingel]

On 9/5/2021 at 10:36 AM, hawkati said:

It’s been a while….i’ve been busy, right?

Where the hell were we? AH yes, on a goodam ferry taking a little time out and talking shite with various other contestants/fellow riders. The views are great ( scenery, not the riders) and it’s possible to relax for a little while.  However we get to Dunoon and it’s offski again on the A815. Last time we launched with the ramp barely down but this time a marginally more civilised depature took place. I’d tucked in behind Standing Man (he blames his knees) who cruised out of towm – I do believe there was a copper or two around so circumspect progress was needed.

This road is great. One day I’ll return and ride it slower admiring the views fully but this particular zoop gathered momemtum damn rapidly tracing the turns around Lock Eck and heading out towards Strachur. I get past Standing Man and immediately crack on – a long long habit of breaking followers so they don’t get in your way later on if you get complacent and they’re not far behind. We all stretch out with long gaps between riders – just as well at the pace we’re doing. We join the A83 and then at some obscure point all have to bunch up again since the main road is closed and everyone has to wait….and wait….and wait….till we get escorted down an alternative route – a steep rocky track. I quite enjoyed it but completely forgot to take any pictures while we were waiting.

Anyway, onwards to Loch Lomond where All of The Midges were waiting. I’m midgeproof but my visor isn’t and there was such an onslaught of the little fukkers than it wasn’t long before I could barely see the road at all. I’d slowed right down and everyone bunched up again, probably wondering why the hell I was so slow. Finally I was approaching a roundabout and  stupidly wiped my visor which completely ruined my sight and I pulled over. Everyone else promptly buggered off except Glyn. He’d stopped too, and it turned out he was seriously low on fuel. We were relying on the station at Tyndrum being open – silly us! The only option was to carry on to Fort William and pray. I had more fuel abut chose to stay with Glyn in case he ran out so I could zoop and get some for him and return.

This was a blessing – doing Glen Coe at 40mph might have seemed excruiciatingly slow but the sun was setting and I got a beaut of a picture in this splendid alien landscape. Again, I must return and take my time exploring here. Awesome.

Finally! Onich fuel station – a 24 hour self serve thingit which absolutely did the business and strangely allowed us to catch a few others.

From then on with dark landing heavily it was a full on gnash up the lochs. Roadwork traffic lights were ignored, ditto speed limits and strangely an element of blind faith in my tyres returned. We all had aux HID lights giving loads of vision so bends were piled into with almost no concern at all. The midges had all fled so the 67 miles or so to Onverness were despatched very very quickly indeed – Martin, Glyn & myself egging each other on and piling through the landscape. Inverness appeared too damn slow and crowded and I made one wrong exit adding to the frustration but we landed at the final pitstop to be greeted by a….wedding? No, really = one of the riders had his wedding anniversary that day so his wife wore her dress again to surprise him…and us! Loads of food and acres of redbull & random chats later it was time to crack on again for that final 110 mile push. Fuck yeah!

There’s a couple of passes over Cromarty and Dornoch firths that I really like here, somewhat surreal in the twilight but nonetheless awesome too – I love scotland’s landscapes and to be honest it’s a prime motivation for doing these events even if I’m too knacked to fully appreciate them.

We hug the coast for miles, no tedium or exhaustion at all now as I press on leading and willing the others to hang on – I know these roads so well now that my mind is scrolling the landscape ahead and setting myself up for bends I cannot yet see. It’s a good feeling – almost elation that this is nearly over. Bends are taken at speed, apexes and hedges clipped and there’s a defite air of purtposeful mischief. This carries on and on  - till we get to Wick. 16 miles to go and All of The Midges descend on me again – completely wrecking my rhythm and screwing up my progress as I desperately try to distinguish the road direction through my smeared visor. It’s grim, too grim because slowing has taken the wind out of my sails and I’m trudging those final relentless miles stumbling from one bend to another, riding more from memory than actual vision. Stupid stupid idiocy of braile. Triple gnash & gritted teeth, trying not to inhale midges getting through the vents.

…and suddenly we’re here! I almost fall off with relief but we all park up and there was rejoicing & giggling! Jaysus!

 

How many hours, could this have taken. Just an imaginary amount, nothing legally binding. Just..a random number🙃

[hawkati]

4 hours ago, svingel said:

How many hours, could this have taken. Just an imaginary amount, nothing legally binding. Just..a random number🙃

I'll find out for you via the medium of @johnnymack63and interpretive dance! 😛

[EXUPDEL]

7 hours ago, hawkati said:

I'll find out for you via the medium of @johnnymack63and interpretive dance! 😛

Please ensure said performance is filmed and shared @hawkati